The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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