I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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