You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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