I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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