she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
there is glitter all over my balls
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