This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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