Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
