Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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