hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
