I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
