dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
