Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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