I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
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Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize