Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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