we're blogging at a bar
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
