Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
