how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
