OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
