Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
