can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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