I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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