I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
