Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
