Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
