i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
