hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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