I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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