Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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