so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
