I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
