She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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