that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
