she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
