It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
