They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I am naked and annoyed.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
