idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
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