Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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