i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
