she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
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How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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