Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I think I just sharted jello shots
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
