Betty ford says i'm here all night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
