Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
