Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.