last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
