Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize