He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
