TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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