You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
No more Irish car bombs ever.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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