Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
