I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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