Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
