his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
