we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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