I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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