You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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