That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
