I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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