I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
