Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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