Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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