My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
