with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
